


Special Sauce

by trascendenza



Category: Invisible Man
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-04-10
Updated: 2007-04-10
Packaged: 2017-10-03 17:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trascendenza/pseuds/trascendenza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>"It's vegetarian-talk.  They got a lingo, my friend.  Real clique-y bunch."</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Special Sauce

"Number 79, hold the chicken," Bobby said, handing the waiter his menu with a nod.

"Hang on—hold the what?" Darien looked at Bobby with disbelief.

"The chicken."

"The chicken."

Bobby looked at Darien like he had a few screws loose. "You can't hear the words coming out of my mouth? Yes, the chicken."

"I'm just trying to figure out how you can have chicken stir-fry without the freaking chicken."

"Vegetables. That green stuff you're always eating around when you think no one's looking? And they got this sauce. It's like sweet, and then spicy, and then sweet again." He waved his fingers in front of his pursed lips. "Tingles."

"Sauce. That tingles."

"Yeah, sauce. You should try it. Live a little." He held up the plate that the waiter had just put in front of him. "You want I should give you some?"

Darien stared at him. "Who are you and what have you done with my Bobby Hobbes?"

"What? What? It's good, I swear you'll like it."

"Hobbes. You inhale steaks for _breakfast_—which, just so you know, is disgusting to watch. You eat hot dogs like they're going out of style. Now you're Mr. Broccoli and Snow Peas?"

Bobby shrugged. "I been thinking about going veggie."

"Veggie?"

"That gland of yours stuck on repeat?—yes, veggie. Ve-ge-ta-rian-o. The big cheese, steak on the side."

"I just can't believe what I'm hearing. And who the hell says 'going veggie'?"

"It's vegetarian-talk. They got a lingo, my friend. Real clique-y bunch."

"Since when do you hang out with vegetarians? I thought you said there was something—and I quote—'fishy' about them."

"Well, if you must know," said Bobby, unbuttoning his coat, "I been thinkin'."

Darien smiled knowingly, leaning forward. "Here comes the stuff."

Bobby looked around, checking for eavesdroppers. Leaning in, he lowered his voice. "You ever seen a fat vegetarian?"

Darien narrowed his eyes. "Is this a trick question? Are you going to make me eat your special sauce if I answer wrong?"

"Think about it. Average vegetarian, half the size of your normal person. Sometimes even less."

"…and this has a point how?"

"Just sayin'. Think about what you gotta eat to stay _that_ skinny, my friend."

Darien took a few moments to run this statement through his Hobbes-logic filter. "So… you think they're using the vegetarian thing as a front because they're secretly cannibals and you're infiltrating their ranks to prove it?"

Bobby grinned. "Bingo."


End file.
